Cats. Where they do not belong.

get off the mattress sleeping cat. you are not a bottom sheet. i cannot make the bed with you.

get down from there cat. you’re using it wrong.

what are you doing up there cat?!  get down!

get off of there cat. that isn’t the part of the mattress you sleep on. there’s not even sheets.

lovingandgiving:

Elphaba in Reclining Nude

Get out of there, cat. That is the bed in the baby’s room for whomever is unlucky enough to be stuck on night duty. I don’t think you will be the one getting up with it. Besides, I need to put sheets on there.

get off of me cat. i am not a cat mattress for you to sleep on.

get out of there cat. we are not playing “tom & jerry” on parachute day. you’re on the wrong side anyway.

get off of there cat. you are not a mattress pad. you certainly do not help keep my mattress allergen-free. plus you’re not floral patterned. 

get out of there cat. i sleep on there cat and i don’t need you inside my bed doing who knows what. you are not a bed bug. you are a cat. though sometimes i wonder about you.

get down from there cat. that is not how you use a mattress. you didn’t even put sheets on. the bed bugs will definitely bite you.

get off of there cat. i just washed my sheets to get rid of all your fur. i don’t want my mattress infused with your sneezy dander.

what are you doing in there cat. you are not a blanket you don’t even fold in half. and i know for a fact you will be displeased when i open it and disturb your sleep but you shouldn’t even be there you are a cat.

get down from there cat. that is being thrown out and i do not want you to go with it. plus now you aren’t going to be able to figure out how to get down and i will have to rescue you. again.

get off of there cat. you cannot be on top of that mattress. you’re not even supposed to be in the spare bedroom at all let alone rock climbing on the mattresses cat.